HOW TO USE STORY TO GAIN TRUST IN YOUR LISTENER

A friend named Mike recently asked a question in my private Storytelling Facebook page.

Mike said, “I think a good overview of how to build the structure that consistently speaks to eliciting a trust emotion quickly is key. Having a good story for those you already have a trusting relationship with is important in business for sure, but having a story that helps to build trust with those new customers you don’t really already know is golden!”

This is the heart of what I do. The answer comes down to telling stories that cause our listener's brains to release cortisol and oxytocin. Let’s get into a little more of what that means.

Humans, because of their shortened gestation periods, need a tool for quick socializing and teaching. That tool is story. Our brains are essentially lazy and don’t want to expend energy they don’t need to — so they use story as a criteria for determining what information to listen to and when to synthesize and release cortisol and oxytocin. When we’re told a story that activates our brains that way, we determine that story is instructing us on how to act, and we internalize it. We look for ways to act and be like the characters in the story.

So, what kind of stories make our brains react that way? Stories of people we can relate to facing tension. When we see someone like us, facing a problem we can imagine ourselves facing, we lock-in.

So, to answer Mike’s question, what’s the structure that builds a trust emotion with new customers?

It’s the structure found in my upside-down story triangle.

The triangle represents the story of someone your customer can relate to. So, maybe you. Or maybe better yet, a past customer. When it’s someone the listener recognizes as being like them, their brain starts to release oxytocin.

Next, the hero of the story faces a dilemma. If it’s a dilemma the listener can relate to, then more oxytocin is released, but, more importantly, cortisol is released. And when cortisol is released, the listener really becomes involved in the story.

The hero searches for a solution to their problem

Finds one.

Implements it.

And life goes back to normal.

And oxytocin is released all along the way, causing the listener to relate to the hero.

And because the brain is lazy like I pointed out, the listener’s brain will convert that oxytocin into feelings of trust and connection and the action of the story will become the advice of a trusted companion.

A neuroscientist, Paul J. Zak, and his team did experiments around this structure and they discovered The release of oxytocin and cortisol predicted how connected people felt even to strangers — and could even go so far as to predict the giving of money to charities or people in need.

The structure of my upside-down story pyramid is the same structure found in Aristotle’s work, Joseph Campbell’s work, Gustav Freytag’s work — and suggests a universal story structure. Or, as Jessica Blank described it — the sacred geometry of story. When we infuse our stories with that structure, we have millennia of evolution and the human brain on our side.

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