Singles, Basic Instinct, and Gen X Becoming Middle Age

I sometimes joke that the defining characteristic of Generation X is that they saw Singles in theaters. It’s possible if you didn’t, you still might be Generation X, but you can’t vote at the meetings.

I saw Singles when I was a young innocent evangelical, in christian college.

A dude I was friends with wanted to see Basic Instinct. I said I’d go with him. Half way to the theater my christian mores got the best of me and I begged him to see something else. I heard Sharon Stone’s vagina had a speaking role and I just didn’t think Jesus would want me to see that.

He was a good sport, so we went and saw Singles instead.

I’ll be honest, at the time, it meant very little too me. As a young boy from Kentucky, enrolled at a bible college, my life couldn’t have looked any more different from the 20-somethings on the screen, hanging out in bars, sleeping together, and trying to figure out how to get along.

Twenty years later, far from bible college, no longer a believer, and having seen a few vaginas with speaking roles, I get it a little more.

At 45, with a mission of helping Generation X navigate the strange new territory of mid-life, I kind of wish I had seen Basic Instinct that day (I never did see it…) And not just because of that one scene.

I haven’t seen the movie, but, it’s part of our cultural lexicon. I feel like I know a lot about it, not to have seen it.

Who is Michael Douglas, in that movie, if not a man struggling with middle age?

His life, the life he picked, the life he built for himself seems suddenly bland. And it’s not like he’s a patent clerk or a toll booth worker, he’s a cop! And he’s still found himself suddenly devoid of enthusiasm and meaning.

That’s what happens at middle age. We realize the ride is half over. And, as a strange result, food stops exciting us. Our homes start to fill a little less well-fitting. Our friends aren’t as much fun, somehow. Life just feels… kinda wrong.

What’s the solution?

Well, in Michael Douglas’ case, it’s a underwearless sex-kitten, suspected of murder and all kinds of exciting.

But as far as solutions go, it, admittedly, didn’t work out so great.

Probably a good thing to keep in mind when some exciting, sexy, potential distraction comes our way. Those solutions don’t tend to work out so good.

The sports car (cliche!), the affari (cliche, but true!), the ratty old food truck that’s for sale and that you’re sure will change your life (cliche, and expensive!).

I often tell clients that distractions like this are just moving the furniture around on the first floor. Truly surviving and thriving in middle age means getting on the elevator and going up a few floors — not just settling for a new layout on the same old floor.

Plus those kind of distractions change your life by blowing it up. Wouldn’t it be nicer to learn how to keep your old life in tack? Just making it… better?

If that sounds like something you need, go to www.patchdrury.net and schedule a 45 minute call with me. We’ll talk about your experience with mid-life so far, what you definitely SHOULDN’T DO, and what you can do, to make things better.