THREE STEPS FOR SURVIVING MIDDLE AGE

Are you in, entering, or approaching middle age? Do you notice your little red wagon picking up speed as it rockets down the hill toward inevitable death?

If so, welcome! We’ve been expecting you. Have a Mr. Pibb.

Middle age is hard. You suddenly find yourself at the half-way point for bodily incarnation, and quickly surpassing it. Your job doesn’t inspire you, your wife doesn’t understand you, and your kids keep pointing at your shoes screaming, “what are thooooooose?” and they just won’t stop. Not even for a second. God, all you need is a second of quiet to get your thoughts together.

You may be thinking of forcing that second. Doing something drastic. Like quitting you job, divorcing your wife, or abandoning your children in a quarry.

Don’t do any of that. AT LEAST NOT YET.

First, read this. It’s a list of the 3 things I think everybody should do, at middle age.

1. DON’T REACT — We kinda covered this already. Don’t react. Or, rather, don’t overreact. Don’t tell your boss to piss off, don’t tell your wife to call a lawyer, and don’t drive your kids out to the quarry. There are two reasons — one, you don’t want to continue the probably 40 year habit of reaction that you’ve likely gotten into. Mid-life is when you stop reacting to life and start directing life. Also, quitting jobs, divorcing wives, abandoning children are all just lateral moves — rearranging the furniture on the ground floor instead of, as you need to do, moving up a few floors. Okay? So, first move? Relax. Don’t do anything. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you need a second.
2. KNOW THYSELF — Man, this is good advice at any age, but, if you’re like a lot of folks, the first half of adulthood has been too busy to devote any real time to it. You’re too busy advancing in your job, finding a mate, and birthing babies to really spend any time figuring yourself out. Also, that kind of deep introspection usually happens when a knowledge of our own mortality throws the breaks on the progress train — and for young people, in our society, there are a number of buffers between you and any real recognition of the frailty of life. But, you hit 40, get sick, lose a job, lose a spouse, or, god, just start doing the math, and all of a sudden, you realize you’re a lot closer to GAME OVER than you are to READY PLAYER ONE. So now, better late than ever, it’s time to really start engaging in some introspection. Who are you? What are your internal values? What made you the way you are? These are easy questions to ask, but hard to answer. But answering them can make all the difference for #3.
3. MAKE A PLAN — Step 3 is the culmination of steps 1 and 2. If you’ve stopped reacting to the world and have truly come to know thyself, then it’s time to make a plan — to create a vision of the second half of life that is EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. A life not where you’re just waiting to see what comes down the pike at you and then reacting blindly, but telling yourself and the world, “Here’s what I want and here’s why” and then taking small, manageable steps EVERY DAY to achieve that dream. Like step 2 (or hell, even step 1), this one is easy to say and hard to do. Well, okay, that’s not true. Making a plan is easy. It’s as easy as sitting around daydreaming about what life COULD be life. The hard part is deciding that you’re worthy of that kind of life. The hard part is doing the work to get there. The hard part is not getting anxious and upset while you’re on the road to your destination.

Maybe one or all three of these seem too hard. Maybe it seems like pie-in-the-sky thinking. Maybe I don’t know how hard you’ve had it and so it’s extremely privileged and presumptuous of me to imagine you capable of doing ANY of this. Maybe. I don’t know. Let’s talk about it.

I help people do this kind of thing for a living. So, if you at least want to talk about it. If you at least thing you’d get something out of a 45 minute, NO PRESSURE, phone call where we kind of get to the bottom of this whole thing for you, where I do everything I can to serve you in middle age, FOR FREE, then go to www.patchdrury.net and schedule a call with me. I’m into it. And, honestly, I’m a joy to talk to.